I seem to be experiencing technical difficulties but I shall persevere. Yes I'm still around, but have had a hectic few weeks: busy work schedule, hired new employee, Christmas (with all of my husband's family staying at our house) son with pneumonia, and bronchitis for me. There, that about sums it up.
We had the last Christmas party today. My side of the family at my parent's house. We also celebrated my father's 70th birthday and my parent's 50th wedding anniversary which are both today. We had a great time! My uncle, who lost his wife of 50 years this fall, was also there. He said he was planning a trip to Las Vegas this April and invited along any of us that wanted to go. So we started to make some tentative plans. I hope it comes to fruition. I gave my parent's a gift of a family portrait that we will take sometime this spring once we align everyone's schedules. Here's the glitch - I now have this feeling like I have jinxed us somehow. Like now what if the family isn't intact in the spring!!! Why did we wait??? I know I titled this blog "Tomorrow is Another Day" since I frequently say that at work. I say I take the Scarlet O'Hara approach to things and when people say "Huh??", I respond with "You know, tomorrow is another day." But I just as easily could have called it "Seize the Day" since that's more how I feel on a day to day basis. ANYWAY.... I just have this weird feeling now that I know we have this family "appointment" in the spring. I don't think I would be weirded out if there was, say a wedding scheduled this fall. I don't think I'd sit and think "Gee, that's a ways away, what if were not all still alive by then?" I usually have the feeling that none of us a guaranteed a tomorrow so try to make the most of the now, but for some reason this picture thing has put a bug in my bonnet. Strange.
3 comments:
Well - I have just deleted all of this post that took me about 7 minutes to word just right. After I typed it all out - I convinced myself that by typing it out I have just cinched up that fear as a probability of occurring!
I think these kind of fears stem from the fact we can all think of a number of times that someone has died suddenly and out comes the comments like, "Oh, and they JUST retired...." or "Oh, and they were about to have a family photo taken." or "They had JUST packed for a cruise they had been planning for 3 years". There is such a story telling aspect to that type of tragedy and it has staying power.
I think our subconcious grabs onto that horror and when it can identify that same upcoming irony in our own life - there is the FEAR - big as life!
I predict this will end up being one of those things that you look back on and say, "Look how much time I spent worrying about the family photo, and its right here in my hand!" Maybe all you need to be doing is to remind yourself that worry is a useless little party trick that you need to push out of yer little head! I am getting really, really good at it!
My word verification tonight is bentally. Is someone trying to say "mentally"?
Brenda = Oprah or Deepak Choprah. (If I ever write a poem about Oprah, he is the only thing that will rhyme with her.) And ditto on what she said. I only wish I could have come up with it myself.
I think it is natural, especially as our families get older, to worry about stuff like that. After my mom died, the first group picture of my siblings and dad felt funny. But it took about five seconds for me to slap myself and say "This is my family as it is now. We may not get this opportunity again."
But, if you can't let it go, get everyone together tomorrow. :o)
Brenda is right again...jeesh.
No worries, dear. Keep on spreading the love.
My verification is shmessi...hee hee very shmessi indeed.
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